Polemnic with a twist of lie

We don't live an age of heroes.
We live in an age of ones and zeroes.
Life is too costly to have ideals.
Earning our wages barely pays for our meals.
The rich get richer, the poor out of the picture.
The middle class just bust their ass.
The mentally ill get sicker.

Despite it all, we need not fall.
If we but heed the call!
Don't trust authority or the government.
The media's conscience is up for rent.
Screw the corporations immune to taxation.
Screw the Congress's backward-ass legislation.

It's time we all raise our voice.
It's time we now make our choice.
Not to trust our leaders, nor support the wealthy.
Decide right here and now our minds and bodies are healthy.
When we realize all society's lies need not hypnotize-
This message brought to you by Pepsi

For Gypsy

For Gypsy

When you lick the pages of my journal,
It is so fucking adorable.
When you perch on top of my easy chair-
And lick my head exposed there-
It's like being kissed by an angel.
You're a rare and fabulous creature.
You're the star of every feature.

I can't describe your loving face.
Or how you fill my life with grace.
You fill my heart with splendor.
Your movements and your presence so tender.
I love your funny ways.
You continue to amaze.
And I thank God for being the Sender.

Gypsy my sweet Gypsy
Your love makes me tipsy.
Even though I haven't imbibed.
I'm so glad you have arrived.
I cherish you every day.
Your magnificence holds sway.
Your warmth makes me glad to be alive.

The Bliss

I take a pull on my Lagunita.
It tastes good and it feels good.
Something washes over me.
Call it bliss.
I drink a few more.
Comfortably numb.

Then later, a new feeling develops.
Emptiness-wishing I had the bliss.
Feeling good turns to feeling shitty.
Because the good is great
But you always want another taste.
And the taste turns bitter.

When you start chasing the bliss,
You never find it.
When it sneaks up on you,
Try not to give it a name
Cause it's not gonna last.

Cancelling cable is a masochistic act Part 2

So it's the next day and I am determined to cancel cable. It has to be done. I can't let those bastards get the better of me. I dial that number for the fourth time. I get to the menu. Do I want to 'cancel' my services or do I want to 'downgrade?' Like I have a choice. I get on that mainline to cancellation city.I just want my relationship with Comcast to end. I am in the zone where I hear the surfer groove music. It invades my earspace. I try to take the phone away from my ear but I'm terrified I will miss the arrival at Canceltown. Which is called the 'loyalty department.' Just before I got here, the agent said 'thank you for choosing Comcast?' Do I have a choice? Why do I have to wait for another twenty- five to thirty minutes to transact this last piece of business? Actually the message said it would be five minutes or so but do I believe these fuckers? I don't know how it happens again but my phone disconnects before the sweet release of cancelling services.

I dial again. I'm determined not to let this system get the better of me. Past the first menu options but that's not nearly satisfying enough. I come up with a genius plan. I won't have to get transferred to the loyalty department. I'll simply ask for a supervisor. That way I'm sure to be able to cancel my services. Because if I ask for a supervisor, they're gonna know I mean business. If I ask for a supervisor, they will respect my concerns and my need for simple closure. They won't jerk me around because they care about their customers. A girl answers. 'I don't mean to take it out on you but this has been a harrowing nightmare. Your system sucks. How hard can it be to cancel one person's services without making him feel like a jerk? The girl informs me that the 'supervisor' is on the other line with a customer. But I can wait and she will transfer me to the 'loyalty department.' Blip. No! Don't send me to the loyalty department again. You have no conscience. Too late. Surfer groove music comes on again. Waiting begins.

From the time I called till now it has been thirty minutes easy. An agonizing thirty minutes. I get disconnected again somehow. I swear there must be one guy chained to a desk who has to take all the cancellation calls for North America. And when they know there is too long of a line to get to have connection with this guru of the cable services world, they just drop a few calls cause it is pretty much futile. One more call. This time I get to the retention department faster. After I explain my nightmare situation to the next guy, he explains that actually a supervisor CAN'T cancel my services for me. So that one guy chained to his desk is just there to get yelled at and abused. Doesn't have any real power. Otherwise he could just cancel my services and make me a tad bit happier than if I had to wait another thirty minutes or so. I am almost crying now. ;Please,' I tell the agent. 'Take pity on me. I have waited SO LONG. You do not know what kind of nightmare this has been for me. Your customer service sucks. Your system whereby anyone who wants to cancel or downgrade services is treated like the biggest shmuck, the most pathetic piece of human trash is degrading beyond belief.' Or something like that comes out of my mouth.

Miraculously, the clouds part, God reaches his big hand down and puts compassion in this agent's soul. He can't cancel my services for me of course. But he is going to monitor the line so I do not get disconnected. Really he promises me it will be ok. And this guy checks in with me every few minutes. It's another twenty minutes or so of waiting but he holds my hand all the way through. I am grateful to this man. I do not quite catch his name but I am grateful to him all the same. By the time the woman in the loyalty department answers, I am so relieved. I do not even give her that hard of a time. It is actually anti-climactic. But I do tell her what a nightmare it has been. And how backward-assed it is for you to make your customers wait and be punished just to cancel their goddamned services. Well, I give her a little bit of a hard time. Nothing personal.

My services are finally cancelled with that malicious, thoughtless corporate entity. I can't believe the nightmare is finally over. I think Dante said there were Nine rings of Hell. Well I went through my Six Rings of Hell and I swear to God I could not have taken one more.

Calling to cancel cable is a masochistic act Part 1

I don't have to say what company. It is well understood. Yesterday I called to cancel cable and went through the labrynth of choices I did not want, each successive possible action worse than facing the minotaur or a firing squad, depending on your age and your cultural reference . Add a WWE event? No thanks. Rather be kicked in the nuts. The canned voice so shrill, I already wanted to beg for mercy. But the torture had just begun.

After dodging aural bullets for what seemed like an eternity, feeling kinda like Frogger from that old video game, a human voice spoke. Verify account? Sure. Why on earth did I want to cancel my service. Got another provider. Wouldn't I re-consider? Well, no if the prices were reasonable after the promotion was over, I would never be in this situation to begin with. But this was the retention department. The agent made a valiant effort but I was not swayed. Already had another contract with the other company. Really nothing personal multi-million dollar corporation. You just don't suit my needs anymore.

So then the agent had to transfer me to the cancel services department. Didn't they have any human decency? Couldn't they just push the little button to abort mission? Game over. The sweet closure of cancellation. No, it was more aural assault, more waiting. After an interminable fifteen minutes, my phone disconnected somehow. Would the nightmare never end? 

Had to call back again. God was mocking me. Every human being supposedly only gets as much suffering as they can bear but this was definitely excruciating pain. The same menu options, the same canned voice. I was doomed and forced to repeat my trek through Hades. I turned up my stereo to drown out that voice. Each button I pressed taking off a year of my life. After ten minutes of agonizing wait, a voice spoke. Verify account? Oh God! If I must. This time I tried to cut to the chase. Please spare me the spiel. Just want to cancel the account. Already went through this with another agent. Got a new provider. But they have to transfer me to the cancel services department again. They call it 'loyalty department.' Delicious irony. Ok, I guess if you gotta. Blip. I'm back in the nebulous zone trying to accomplish a simple goal. Cancel my account. Sigh.

I hear the same music I heard previously. Sort of a surfer groove. It lulls you into submission like they might play some classical music to make a lamb more tender for cutting. I wait and wait and wait. Forty five minutes of my life are lost. Trying to hold the receiver close to my ear in case salvation comes. It doesn't. After an agonizing forty five minutes, my phone disconnects again somehow. And I resign myself that cable will not be cancelled today. God give me strength!

The Book of Love

I've never read the Book of Love.

I'm not sure that it exists.

It's like God or Santa Claus.

No one knows just what it is.

My friend thought he saw it

In Elvis's meaty paws.

But it was just a porno mag

And that made him very cross.

Another friend thought he saw it

Resting on Madonna's tub

But it disappeared from view

The moment she pulled the plug.

I've never read the Book of Love.

It must be quite well-worn.

Soaked, soiled, and dog-eared

And half the pages torn.

Maybe Shakespeare had it last.

Or maybe it was Donne.

Perhaps consumed in the Inferno's blast

Where John Keats retrieved it,

Dusted it off, and held it fast.

It must be quite a marvel.

It must be quite a find.

Beaten up and battered

And with a broken spine.

It must be out there somewhere.

You just have to know where to look.

It's not some cheap dime novel.

It's quite a special book.

The Church of Jazz

Listening to jazz on a Sunday morning. 

A truly religious experience.

The parishioners, Gypsy and Sadie

Sit in their pews, eyes closed in rapture.

We are all connected by this spiritual vibe.

Music hits the souls of all creatures.

Male and female, two-legged and four-legged.

Music is the great unifier.

I'll follow Miles Davis and John Coltrane.

Politicians have no souls,

No matter what their party.

Preach on Brothers Miles and Coltrane!

Your music gives us hope and solace.

God speaks through you.

I don't have to dress up to go to the Church of Jazz

The Church of Jazz doesn't tell me I'm a sinner.

The Church of Jazz doesn't ask for money in the collection plate.

The Church of Jazz just wails on in an exultant tone.

The Church of Jazz gives love and peace.

And asks for nothing in return.

I am pleased to worship at the Church of Jazz.

One and all should heed the call.

Sinners, saints, winners, losers.

The good, the bad, the weak, the strong. 

The Church of Jazz don't judge.

In the Church of Jazz we all belong.

My first real post I find myself talking about my cats

So I have had this blog for a little while but I have barely posted anything. It's summertime and I try to not watch much television. I'm content to listen to music or write or paint something. I like to cook a lot too. I live alone with two cats, Gypsy and Sadie. I just gave them both some catnip. They are night and day, those two. Sadie is inward and reproachful to strangers. Gypsy is social and friendly to anyone she meets. Gypsy follows me around and likes to lounge at my feet. She loves it when I put my feet on her. Just rub her belly or the top of her head with my foot. Gypsy loves it. I swear she must have no sense of smell cause my feet stink! Lol

Just now I gave them both some catnip. Gypsy just had a little taste and she was rolling around on the floor with abandon. Sadie just kept eating more and more and barely seemed to be affected by it. But she still didn't want Gypsy getting more than her so she got real territorial and aggressive toward Gypsy. She didn't want Gypsy to derive more enjoyment than she did. Sadie is very selfish and also very jealous of Gypsy. I love both my cats. Sadie can be really warm to me but not so with other humans or even other cats. Don't know why she is that way.

 It gives me great pleasure to watch my cats eat. Their needs are so simple. They are also unproductive and lazy. But every creature has a part to play in life and cats were blessed with indolence. All they do is sit around, sleep, eat, and shit. But for some reason they are great companions because they are utterly dependent on their masters. How could they ever have evolved from creatures that roamed the prairie and searched for their own food. Cat's can't even re-fill their own water bowls or clean their own litter boxes. They are completely useless and helpless but they are also so endearing. I enjoy just having them near when I'm sitting quietly writing in my journal or sometimes watching something on the tube. I wrote a poem about hanging with my kitties and listening to jazz on a Sunday morning. I'll probably publish it here.