The Princess

She's so damn pretty.

She's just my kitty.

But she loves me sincerely.

And I love her dearly.

She's the best investment

I ever made in happiness.

She's got such graces

In unusual places.

She's a little angel

With magnificent halo.

She's never unwitting.

She likes to be sitting.

She also likes to sleep

With kitty dreams deep.

She's my sweet baby.

And I don't mean maybe.

She doesn't know how to lie.

Or to hurt my feelings.

But on her I can't rely.

She's a simple little thing.

Without a bone of mean.

So I don't take it personally.

She's an amazing invention. 

She has no indiscretions.. 

How I love that girl!

She's the best in the world.

She loves me with honesty.

Oh, such a rarity!

Of something so pure

There is scarcity.

I am in bliss

From her kitty kiss.

I haven't given her a name.

For you it's a shame

If you never enjoy her company.

Her virtues are plain to see.

And her love is always free.

She comes at little cost.

Without her I'd be lost.

Her warmth melts my inner frost.

Useless Things

When I left my last apartment

There were things I didn't need to keep.

A hundred-eighty pound television

That nearly broke my back.

Some books read, and unread.

Some memories best left forgotten.

An end table, cooking utensils, a dying plant.

Humidity, faint light, and the stench

Of suffering and solitude.

I left the tall 60's era Dylan poster

That loomed too large

And made me feel insignificant.

I couldn't look Bob in the eye anymore.

But he didn't make a big deal about it.

Magnanimous gesture, that.

I left a cupboard full of food.

You would have eaten that food, Terrence.

You ate my food, you stole my things.

You were a vulture.

You preyed on the trusting.

I left your ghost in my apartment

Because you are dead to me.

You are a walking junkie corpse.

A sallow, thin-lipped piece of nothing.

Most of all I left you behind.

Madness

It's not a club I'm in.

It's more a place within.

It's darkness and terror.

I don't know who is the starer

Who looks deep in my soul.

But I've got this funny notion

That it's a deadly potion

That can swallow me whole.

I'm trapped in this prison.

And it's my mission

To get myself free.

This place is dark and murky.

And it's far from perky.

Someone must have the key

That unlocks my joy.

Else I might be destroyed.

The world should be my oyster.

But I'm in here, cloistered.

Wish my gloom would disappear.

I'm hiding in the shadows.

As deep inside my fear grows.

I can't take the company

Of these demented foes.

I'm never completely certain

Of my own identity.

And it's a real burden.

Life is so confusing.

It's a war I keep losing.

I'm a victim of my own mind.

It's far from amusing

The way the knot binds.

I send out my appeal

To whoever feels

They have it all solved.

The simple is complicated.

Sanity is overrated.

And understanding is dissolved.

Guess I learned my lesson.

Life on earth is not for blessin. 

This is my struggle

To get out of the loony bin

To escape the hole that sucks me in.

It's really unclear

How I got in here.

But it seems that I can't win.

And I'm doomed to sin

And oblivion.

There is beauty in suffering

The madman in me keeps muttering.

You should jump off the train. 

You should embrace your pain.

Life is sadness and horror.

And madness and shame

And there is no restorer

And no one to blame.

This thing is dark that came out of me.

The monster inside has made me see
That there is no heaven and there is no bliss.
That we all are tainted by the devil's kiss.
He's the great deceiver.
And I'm a true believer.
I took the bargain.
But I'll never get my wish.

To someone far away

I never knew love could be so good.

Never knew a woman could be my water and my food.

Your love's so elevating.

You're the one for whom I've been waiting.

'Love' is a paltry word to describe

The way you make me feel alive.

Rapture's more the ticket.

Put it on a stamp and lick it.

Send it off to the heavens divine.

You're my lover and my muse.

You're the one I dare not lose.

You're a blast of sweet sunshine.

And I know you're mine all mine.

Though life's struggles get me down,

With you a smile replaces my frown.

You're an angel from above.

Might be spoiling me, too much love.

Your blessed heart I'm glad I've found.

I can't stop thinking about you baby.

And I know that one day maybe

We'll be in each others' arms for life.

You'll be my lover, my friend, and my wife.

You're my ultimate companion

Who I will never ever abandon.

Honey when you read these words

Hope your heart's all a flutter

Like winged birds.

And they find in me the best place to land in.

I need to learn to fish

I need to learn to fish.

I throw my line in.

But I never get my wish.

My lure is my personality.
And I know how to disguise it
So my prey doesn't recognize it.
It's what fishermen do.
They use a deceptive lure.
It's the best way to capture
The fish at the end of the line.
But I've been waiting such a long time.

To fish is to be patient
To fish is to always be waiting.
It gets so damn frustrating.
My fish would love me
If she only knew
The amazing things I can do.
Guess I still haven't learned
The right technique.
Maybe my outlook is too bleak.
Maybe I'll never get the one I seek.

But I'll keep on throwing my line in.
One day I'll land a mermaid.
Then my happiness will be laid
She'll have beauty, she'll have charm.
She'll  be draped on my arm.
She'll tell me I'm so witty.
She'll be so fucking pretty.
She'll be the finest prize.
She'll be the queen of sighs.

I'm gonna keep on fishing.
I'm gonna keep on wishing.
I think she's somewhere calling.
But I wish she'd quit stalling.
And tell me I'm the one
That makes her life complete.
Whom she knows can't be beat.
See, I'm the real catch!
I just haven't met my match.

I'm not interested in politics.

I'm not interested in politics.

I'm interested in what makes people tick.

Politics is a parlor trick.

Like a seal spinning a ball on its nose.

Our real needs are the ball that they throw.

The American people's suffering grows

While they put on their ludicrous show.

Politicians make me sick.
Politicians don't give a lick
About the struggles of the working class.
The American people bust their ass
While Congress sits in a palace of glass.
Indifferent and lacking vision.
Full of bickering and derision.

Republicans and Democrats
Are a bunch of fat cats.
Plump and over-fed.
Neither blue, nor red.
More just gray and dead.
Is this for what
Our forefathers bled?

We need a new party.
We need a new voice.
Between vanilla and vanilla
Is there really a choice?
I really don't see belief.
That's my primary beef.
It's rhetoric and white noise.

Politicians are easy to skewer.
They're full of manure.
They make me want to flush them down the sewer.
They lack all conviction.
They spin their gross fictions.
Why do the American people listen?

I bet on a horse

I bet on a horse and she didn't win.

And I kept on throwing money in.
I bet on a horse who I thought had duty.
But I was tricked by her exquisite beauty.

I bet on a horse and she was a dud.

Nearing the finish line she made a big thud.

And she dragged me right into the mud.

I bet on a horse and I thought she was regal.

Such beauty and grace was almost illegal.
Although she was a pretty little filly,
In the end she made me look silly.
I thought my success was well assured.
And that finally finally my luck had turned.
But she turned out to be nothing but a turd.

I bet on a horse and she didn't win.
The way I loved her was almost a sin.
Oh how I marveled when I touched her pelt.
You have no idea how good that felt.
She was a beautiful princess.
But I learned to mistrust
Her conniving ways.
Oh how her charms could sway.

I bet on a horse that I thought was my destiny.
I thought she was the future I was investing in.
But my future sank just like my hopes.
My little pony had me on the ropes.
I was tethered to a losing proposition
Of despair, degradation and sin.
You have no idea the state I'm in.

Ruminations

I was thinking about Charles' Bukowski's edict:
'Endurance is more important than truth.'
But that don't mean I gotta do 15 shots
And drink 10 Bell's Ambers
To feel I fought the good fight.
The good fight is every day you
Manage to remain on this planet
With a modicum of sense
And have good companionship,
Be it friends, lovers, gay or straight.

The good fight is to have people
Struggling for the same goal,
Whether by choice or
Because they are forced to.
Your peers are the ones who are
Doing the same thing as you are.

It is better to have a relationship
With a group of like-minded individuals
Who are working for the same goal as you are.
But finding that like-minded individuals part
Is like trying to stop a heart beating
With your mind.
It's almost impossible.

I am rambling...
I am deadly serious.
I am completely clueless.
I just have to ask questions.
I have to ask questions
Until the door closes forever.
And I think there is only one door that does that.
But I could be wrong!

Pilgrims

I wish we were pilgrims again.
I wish the world was new again.
When the sight of rows of corn elicited excitement.
When they built campfires just for the pleasure of it.
When they didn't have to post about it to make it worthwhile
When they didn't have to like anything or hash tag it.
When life was only for the present.
And the simplest things transcendent.

I wish we were pilgrims again.
When they told ghost stories around a campfire
With only their imaginations to give them shape.
No special effects. No car crashes with daring escapes.
I wish the world was new again.
When they wrote letters and then had to wait.
Anticipation is lost today.

Now life is immediate.
Now everything is referenced.
Now we have no direction.
And we have to enshrine
All that is benign.
Now we catalog it for all to see.
From our shits to our appendectomy.

Sorry if I am cynical.
But life is so clinical.
We are detached from our own experience.
We have to like it to give it credence.
It's all so self-referential.
Including my own musings.
An irony not of my choosing.
I don't mean to be heavy-handed.
But that's what the words commanded.

I think I'm from another time.
Where poetry still had to rhyme.
When there was no mountain we couldn't climb.
And we still thought sunsets were sublime.
Where life was simple and pleasures few.
But there's one thing that I know is true.
Though this world is modern, it is far from new.

Desire

Desire is a beast.
Desire is a feast of the senses.
Desire is as immense as
The human mind can conceive.
Desire does not abate.
Desire cannot wait.

Desire is our undoing.
Desire is just screwing
With our heads and our hearts.
Desire makes us crazy.
Desire makes us lazy.
While we sit around yearning,
Deep inside we're burning.

Desire is the winner
Of the soul of every sinner.
Desire is unrelenting.
And after we need repenting.
Desire turns her tricks.
And there's nothing can fix
The need for her kiss.

Desire is forever.
And we will never
Escape her call.
Until we are laid,
Deep in our graves.
Desire promises rapture.
But to desire is to be captured.

Even the deepest holy man
Can maybe never understand
The power of her persuasion.
Desire does not spare you.
Desire will ensnare you.
Desire leaves you breathless.
Desire is your nemesis.

Desire can enslave us.
Desire wants to tame us.
Desire takes our will.
But when we give in to her,
We're still unfulfilled.
Desire is a mighty circle
Of eternal ceaseless pull.
Desire is invincible.

The worm in our apple

I found a worm in my apple.
Yes I was disgusted.
Yes I got rid of it.
But later I thought about it.
How much did the worm eat?
Weren't there parts
That didn't get eaten?

What did they do before
There were pesticides?
Did they throw away
The whole apple?
Did they say to themselves:
'I'd rather starve than eat
This disgusting apple!'

I'm sure they did not!
I'm sure they used the parts
That were not damaged.
I'm sure they said to themselves:
'We need to make do
With what we have.'
We need to not worry about
The worm in our apple.

Farmer's Daughter

I wanna live with a farmer's daughter.

She'll make me breakfast. 

She'll fetch me water.

She'll come to me in the morning

After milking the cows.

Her hands wet and warm.

She'll wipe them on her blouse.

I wanna live with a farmer's daughter.

She'll come to me in the morning

Just as the cock rises.

Her hands red from slaughter.

I'll say 'my dear you're full of surprises.'

And I'll show her a few of my own.

I wanna live with a farmer's daughter.

She'll come to me in the morning

Her hands chapped and rough

From squeezing udders.

I tell you my girl she'll be pretty tough.

But her body's soft, her mind uncluttered.

I'll never have to seek another.

Destiny is a big eater

Destiny is a big eater.
Destiny consumes and consumes.
Destiny is a big cheater.
Destiny is never going to lose.
Destiny never doubts himself.
Destiny never says I'm sorry.
Destiny says, "Make room!'

Destiny is not all destruction.
Destiny can be construction.
Destiny is a mighty force.
Destiny is the greatest source.
Destiny always gets his way.
Destiny never makes a mistake.
Destiny is here to stay.

Destiny has a heart of granite.
Destiny can destroy the planet.
Destiny is on top of his game.
Destiny has no shame.
Destiny plays for keeps.
Destiny says read em and weep.
Destiny cannot be tamed.

Be Mine

Be the Bonnie to my Clyde.
Be the moon to my tide.
Be my Hannibal Lechter.
Be my Phil Spector.
Be my friend in madness.
Be my lover in sadness.
Be the object I worship.
Be my creature of gladness.

Be mine. Be my divine.
Be my light. Be my source.
Tell me when I'm off course.
I give you my power.
Please be my flower.
Be all that I want.
Let me devour
Your body and soul.

Be mine. Be my beacon.
Be my ultimate light.
Don't let me weaken.
Please honor my truth.
Darling please soothe me
In my doubt and my fear.
You know I need you near.

Break the Chalice

Break the chalice.
Lose the darkness that you're in.
The world is malice.
The world is sin.
Make a new covenant.
You know you can win.
Make a new toast.
Try to get the most
Of every moment you are in.

Break the chalice.
It's not the cup of salvation.
It's the cup of damnation.
It's name is addiction.
It's the worst of afflictions.
It's the nature of desire.
And the flames get higher.

Break the chalice.
Lose the need for the unnecessary.
Giving up  want is fucking scary
But you have to try and try.
Nothing is permanent.
Everything dies.
It's the only thing certain.

Break the chalice.
It's time for transition.
Find your new position.
You can become a butterfly.
You can soar so high.
Spread out your feeble wings
And let your soul sing.
When you rise up into the sky
Not hindered, not burdened-
Only then will you truly feel alive!

The Queen

The Queen is cold and imperious
The Queen is always serious.
She rules with an iron paw.
She knows her statement is law.
But her orders are not in words.
Although she cannot speak,
She is far from meek.

The Queen is a tyrant.
The Queen is mostly silent.
The Queen  determines the borders.
The Queen is in charge.
She makes the orders.
She is pleased to rule.
She is no fool.

The Queen is loyal to her King.
She does not give a fling
About the other subjects in her court.
The Queen is one-sided
Her attention undivided.
She only cares for her King.
But he's never given her a ring.

The Queen is the master.
As so God has cast her.
She is strangely bewitching
Though she's selfish
And she's always bitching.
Her sweetness reserved for One.
And I am the lucky one.

Timing is everything

Timing is everything.
Timing is truth.
Timing can't be learned.
But timing is proof.
The wisdom of the wisest monk
Is nothing but a heap of junk
Compared to the highest truth.
Timing is everything.

What is knowledge really?
The highest truth is the moment only.
The real truth is perfect timing.
It's not something you read in a book.
You either have it or you don't.
Timing is everything.
I guess God gives it to some
But He doesn't give it to all.

Timing is everything.
It's worth more than gold.
Timing is everything.
It comes from the Lord.
Timing is a blessing.
Timing is a sign.
Timing is what I know I lack.
But timing is divine.
If you've got timing, you know you're on track.

My Precious

My precious isn't made of gold.
My precious weights only a few pounds.
My precious doesn't know her own value.
And that is what makes her worth so fine.
My precious is simple and easy.
My precious makes life calm and peaceful.
My precious embodies love.
My precious does not know the meaning of
The words on this page.
But she loves them just the same.
And she makes them precious like she is.

My precious' glory never fades.
My precious continues to amaze.
My precious is a holy thing.
My precious is astounding.
My precious is very demanding.
She insists that she love me
Every minute that I am around.
My precious is a light from heaven.
Although she sometimes makes me cross,
To lose her would be the deepest loss.

My Prayer

Thank you God for the job that gives me the money that allows me to buy the pleasures that allow me to stand my job. Thank you God for my cats and my music that I love more than most people. Thank you God that there are a few people in my life that make my life worth getting up for. Thank you God that I am relatively healthy and my depression is not so debilitating that I can't stand another day. Thank you God that the kind of people I hate have a name that I can use to make myself feel nothing like them. Thank you God that the real pain and suffering in the world is so much worse than the things that I complain about and am miserable about. Thank you God that no one will ever pay attention to any of my ideas. Thank you God that life is long and lonely and over much too soon.

Coffee stands for comfort: On Americans' love of coffee

I bought a new automatic drip coffee maker recently. It was a pretty nice model from Black and Decker with a timer on it and everything. Cost $19.98 and it was worth every penny. I can't describe how excited I was about a simple pleasure like buying a new coffee maker. The reason for that is coffee stands for comfort. It's true. That first virgin voyage of my sleek new model I was supposed to make a pot of boiling h20 first to clean out all the dust and sediment that might have got stuck in the box after shipping but fuck that! I couldn't wait. First I ground the beans, then I filled the filter with the grounds, then I filled the carafe with water. Oh, what a spectacle! You see the water through the glass on the side of the machine, watch as it comes to a boil and steam starts to rise, then see that lovely black liquid pour into the carafe. It's American ingenuity at its finest. Except I don't think my coffee maker was made in America. It was made somewhere in Asia. I already recycled the box so I can't remember which country. Aren't the Japanese and the Chinese known for their love of tea? Oh, the delicious ironies of the modern world!

After you watch the automatic drip do its dripping, the next great enjoyment is the aroma. Even people who don't like coffee profess an adoration for the smell of coffee brewing. The last pleasure of the coffee ritual is of course the tasting. Yes I like cream and sugar in mine but it doesn't mean I don't like the taste too. The bitter with the sweet is an incredible combination. I don't drink a lot of coffee either. My body can't take a lot of caffeine. I get jittery, my heart races,  and I have to pee a lot. But I love the ritual of making coffee at home. I have friends who can drink two or three pots a day, regardless of the hour, and hardly feel it. But I'm not high-octane like my friend Bill. I'm a light-weight. I admit it. I just like the smell and the taste and the great American ritual. Coffee stands for comfort.

My mom tells this story (apocryphal but true) of how when she was pretty young, she made herself learn to enjoy coffee drinking. She started with a cup of milk and sugar, added just one teaspoon of coffee and drank it down. The second time she used the same ingredients but added a tablespoon of coffee. She kept adding more coffee till she developed a tolerance for the beautiful brown elixir. The reason she did this? Sandra (that's my mom, hi mom!) thought it was what made you a grownup. Coffee was a rite of passage to adulthood to her generation. I don't know if it is perceived that way to kids of today's generation. Starbucks and other coffee chains are so commonplace that having a cup of coffee seems pretty standard and not in any way elevating. And kids today..well don't get me started on kids today.

So I was trying to figure out when Americans' obsession with coffee began. It wasn't due to the proliferation of Starbucks, surely. I figure it coincided with the advent of television. I could be wrong. I don't have the luxury of a facts checker. I can't be bothered with doing research. No facts were harmed in the making of this subjective but non-manipulative piece of propaganda. But television probably had a lot to do with the acceleration of the coffee craze. There is this great Mystery Science Theater episode where the matronly mom makes like twelve pots of coffee over the course of the film. Again my facts may be a little off. But there is the pot before breakfast, the pot with breakfast, the post breakfast pot, and so on. And all the action in the film is the impetus to put on another pot. Till at the end there is some kind of tragedy. I think their son got hit by a car or something. Better put on a pot of the liquid that makes you edgy, nervous, and irritable. Perfect solution for an already sleepless night. Coffee stands for comfort.

Polemnic with a twist of lie

We don't live an age of heroes.
We live in an age of ones and zeroes.
Life is too costly to have ideals.
Earning our wages barely pays for our meals.
The rich get richer, the poor out of the picture.
The middle class just bust their ass.
The mentally ill get sicker.

Despite it all, we need not fall.
If we but heed the call!
Don't trust authority or the government.
The media's conscience is up for rent.
Screw the corporations immune to taxation.
Screw the Congress's backward-ass legislation.

It's time we all raise our voice.
It's time we now make our choice.
Not to trust our leaders, nor support the wealthy.
Decide right here and now our minds and bodies are healthy.
When we realize all society's lies need not hypnotize-
This message brought to you by Pepsi

For Gypsy

For Gypsy

When you lick the pages of my journal,
It is so fucking adorable.
When you perch on top of my easy chair-
And lick my head exposed there-
It's like being kissed by an angel.
You're a rare and fabulous creature.
You're the star of every feature.

I can't describe your loving face.
Or how you fill my life with grace.
You fill my heart with splendor.
Your movements and your presence so tender.
I love your funny ways.
You continue to amaze.
And I thank God for being the Sender.

Gypsy my sweet Gypsy
Your love makes me tipsy.
Even though I haven't imbibed.
I'm so glad you have arrived.
I cherish you every day.
Your magnificence holds sway.
Your warmth makes me glad to be alive.

The Bliss

I take a pull on my Lagunita.
It tastes good and it feels good.
Something washes over me.
Call it bliss.
I drink a few more.
Comfortably numb.

Then later, a new feeling develops.
Emptiness-wishing I had the bliss.
Feeling good turns to feeling shitty.
Because the good is great
But you always want another taste.
And the taste turns bitter.

When you start chasing the bliss,
You never find it.
When it sneaks up on you,
Try not to give it a name
Cause it's not gonna last.

Cancelling cable is a masochistic act Part 2

So it's the next day and I am determined to cancel cable. It has to be done. I can't let those bastards get the better of me. I dial that number for the fourth time. I get to the menu. Do I want to 'cancel' my services or do I want to 'downgrade?' Like I have a choice. I get on that mainline to cancellation city.I just want my relationship with Comcast to end. I am in the zone where I hear the surfer groove music. It invades my earspace. I try to take the phone away from my ear but I'm terrified I will miss the arrival at Canceltown. Which is called the 'loyalty department.' Just before I got here, the agent said 'thank you for choosing Comcast?' Do I have a choice? Why do I have to wait for another twenty- five to thirty minutes to transact this last piece of business? Actually the message said it would be five minutes or so but do I believe these fuckers? I don't know how it happens again but my phone disconnects before the sweet release of cancelling services.

I dial again. I'm determined not to let this system get the better of me. Past the first menu options but that's not nearly satisfying enough. I come up with a genius plan. I won't have to get transferred to the loyalty department. I'll simply ask for a supervisor. That way I'm sure to be able to cancel my services. Because if I ask for a supervisor, they're gonna know I mean business. If I ask for a supervisor, they will respect my concerns and my need for simple closure. They won't jerk me around because they care about their customers. A girl answers. 'I don't mean to take it out on you but this has been a harrowing nightmare. Your system sucks. How hard can it be to cancel one person's services without making him feel like a jerk? The girl informs me that the 'supervisor' is on the other line with a customer. But I can wait and she will transfer me to the 'loyalty department.' Blip. No! Don't send me to the loyalty department again. You have no conscience. Too late. Surfer groove music comes on again. Waiting begins.

From the time I called till now it has been thirty minutes easy. An agonizing thirty minutes. I get disconnected again somehow. I swear there must be one guy chained to a desk who has to take all the cancellation calls for North America. And when they know there is too long of a line to get to have connection with this guru of the cable services world, they just drop a few calls cause it is pretty much futile. One more call. This time I get to the retention department faster. After I explain my nightmare situation to the next guy, he explains that actually a supervisor CAN'T cancel my services for me. So that one guy chained to his desk is just there to get yelled at and abused. Doesn't have any real power. Otherwise he could just cancel my services and make me a tad bit happier than if I had to wait another thirty minutes or so. I am almost crying now. ;Please,' I tell the agent. 'Take pity on me. I have waited SO LONG. You do not know what kind of nightmare this has been for me. Your customer service sucks. Your system whereby anyone who wants to cancel or downgrade services is treated like the biggest shmuck, the most pathetic piece of human trash is degrading beyond belief.' Or something like that comes out of my mouth.

Miraculously, the clouds part, God reaches his big hand down and puts compassion in this agent's soul. He can't cancel my services for me of course. But he is going to monitor the line so I do not get disconnected. Really he promises me it will be ok. And this guy checks in with me every few minutes. It's another twenty minutes or so of waiting but he holds my hand all the way through. I am grateful to this man. I do not quite catch his name but I am grateful to him all the same. By the time the woman in the loyalty department answers, I am so relieved. I do not even give her that hard of a time. It is actually anti-climactic. But I do tell her what a nightmare it has been. And how backward-assed it is for you to make your customers wait and be punished just to cancel their goddamned services. Well, I give her a little bit of a hard time. Nothing personal.

My services are finally cancelled with that malicious, thoughtless corporate entity. I can't believe the nightmare is finally over. I think Dante said there were Nine rings of Hell. Well I went through my Six Rings of Hell and I swear to God I could not have taken one more.

Calling to cancel cable is a masochistic act Part 1

I don't have to say what company. It is well understood. Yesterday I called to cancel cable and went through the labrynth of choices I did not want, each successive possible action worse than facing the minotaur or a firing squad, depending on your age and your cultural reference . Add a WWE event? No thanks. Rather be kicked in the nuts. The canned voice so shrill, I already wanted to beg for mercy. But the torture had just begun.

After dodging aural bullets for what seemed like an eternity, feeling kinda like Frogger from that old video game, a human voice spoke. Verify account? Sure. Why on earth did I want to cancel my service. Got another provider. Wouldn't I re-consider? Well, no if the prices were reasonable after the promotion was over, I would never be in this situation to begin with. But this was the retention department. The agent made a valiant effort but I was not swayed. Already had another contract with the other company. Really nothing personal multi-million dollar corporation. You just don't suit my needs anymore.

So then the agent had to transfer me to the cancel services department. Didn't they have any human decency? Couldn't they just push the little button to abort mission? Game over. The sweet closure of cancellation. No, it was more aural assault, more waiting. After an interminable fifteen minutes, my phone disconnected somehow. Would the nightmare never end? 

Had to call back again. God was mocking me. Every human being supposedly only gets as much suffering as they can bear but this was definitely excruciating pain. The same menu options, the same canned voice. I was doomed and forced to repeat my trek through Hades. I turned up my stereo to drown out that voice. Each button I pressed taking off a year of my life. After ten minutes of agonizing wait, a voice spoke. Verify account? Oh God! If I must. This time I tried to cut to the chase. Please spare me the spiel. Just want to cancel the account. Already went through this with another agent. Got a new provider. But they have to transfer me to the cancel services department again. They call it 'loyalty department.' Delicious irony. Ok, I guess if you gotta. Blip. I'm back in the nebulous zone trying to accomplish a simple goal. Cancel my account. Sigh.

I hear the same music I heard previously. Sort of a surfer groove. It lulls you into submission like they might play some classical music to make a lamb more tender for cutting. I wait and wait and wait. Forty five minutes of my life are lost. Trying to hold the receiver close to my ear in case salvation comes. It doesn't. After an agonizing forty five minutes, my phone disconnects again somehow. And I resign myself that cable will not be cancelled today. God give me strength!

The Book of Love

I've never read the Book of Love.

I'm not sure that it exists.

It's like God or Santa Claus.

No one knows just what it is.

My friend thought he saw it

In Elvis's meaty paws.

But it was just a porno mag

And that made him very cross.

Another friend thought he saw it

Resting on Madonna's tub

But it disappeared from view

The moment she pulled the plug.

I've never read the Book of Love.

It must be quite well-worn.

Soaked, soiled, and dog-eared

And half the pages torn.

Maybe Shakespeare had it last.

Or maybe it was Donne.

Perhaps consumed in the Inferno's blast

Where John Keats retrieved it,

Dusted it off, and held it fast.

It must be quite a marvel.

It must be quite a find.

Beaten up and battered

And with a broken spine.

It must be out there somewhere.

You just have to know where to look.

It's not some cheap dime novel.

It's quite a special book.

The Church of Jazz

Listening to jazz on a Sunday morning. 

A truly religious experience.

The parishioners, Gypsy and Sadie

Sit in their pews, eyes closed in rapture.

We are all connected by this spiritual vibe.

Music hits the souls of all creatures.

Male and female, two-legged and four-legged.

Music is the great unifier.

I'll follow Miles Davis and John Coltrane.

Politicians have no souls,

No matter what their party.

Preach on Brothers Miles and Coltrane!

Your music gives us hope and solace.

God speaks through you.

I don't have to dress up to go to the Church of Jazz

The Church of Jazz doesn't tell me I'm a sinner.

The Church of Jazz doesn't ask for money in the collection plate.

The Church of Jazz just wails on in an exultant tone.

The Church of Jazz gives love and peace.

And asks for nothing in return.

I am pleased to worship at the Church of Jazz.

One and all should heed the call.

Sinners, saints, winners, losers.

The good, the bad, the weak, the strong. 

The Church of Jazz don't judge.

In the Church of Jazz we all belong.

My first real post I find myself talking about my cats

So I have had this blog for a little while but I have barely posted anything. It's summertime and I try to not watch much television. I'm content to listen to music or write or paint something. I like to cook a lot too. I live alone with two cats, Gypsy and Sadie. I just gave them both some catnip. They are night and day, those two. Sadie is inward and reproachful to strangers. Gypsy is social and friendly to anyone she meets. Gypsy follows me around and likes to lounge at my feet. She loves it when I put my feet on her. Just rub her belly or the top of her head with my foot. Gypsy loves it. I swear she must have no sense of smell cause my feet stink! Lol

Just now I gave them both some catnip. Gypsy just had a little taste and she was rolling around on the floor with abandon. Sadie just kept eating more and more and barely seemed to be affected by it. But she still didn't want Gypsy getting more than her so she got real territorial and aggressive toward Gypsy. She didn't want Gypsy to derive more enjoyment than she did. Sadie is very selfish and also very jealous of Gypsy. I love both my cats. Sadie can be really warm to me but not so with other humans or even other cats. Don't know why she is that way.

 It gives me great pleasure to watch my cats eat. Their needs are so simple. They are also unproductive and lazy. But every creature has a part to play in life and cats were blessed with indolence. All they do is sit around, sleep, eat, and shit. But for some reason they are great companions because they are utterly dependent on their masters. How could they ever have evolved from creatures that roamed the prairie and searched for their own food. Cat's can't even re-fill their own water bowls or clean their own litter boxes. They are completely useless and helpless but they are also so endearing. I enjoy just having them near when I'm sitting quietly writing in my journal or sometimes watching something on the tube. I wrote a poem about hanging with my kitties and listening to jazz on a Sunday morning. I'll probably publish it here.